"Would you want to be with me? Exclusively?" Joonmyun asks Jongin. "Later. After I graduate, I mean."

Hold on, though. They never talk about this. Not since Joonmyun had told Jongin no. Not since Jongin had kept himself from bringing it up again after the… incident at the club.

"Yeah," Jongin says. He cautiously tightens his arms around Joonmyun. Joonmyun is so small. Jongin doesn't want to crush him. "I'd want to be with you exclusively now, if you'd let me."

Joonmyun shakes his head. "Not yet," he says. "I have things… I have to tell you. About me."

"You're not going to change my mind."

"You should wait until you see what I have to tell you," Joonmyun says, linking their fingers together. Jongin is like ninety-nine percent sure nothing can change how much pulling Joonmyun into his arms and snuggling him close makes him feel.


"Jongin and Joonmyun-hyung are both great people," Zitao says. It makes Jongin feel nice, even if Zitao loves everyone.



"What if I take you from behind, this time?" Joonmyun teases, and that's… that's a line straight from 'NYPD Blew'. Jongin remembers because he replayed it over and over and over the night before his high school graduation. Suho had delivered it just like that.

He looks over his shoulder and Joonmyun is grinning at him. His hair is pushed back and matted. Sweat clings to his neck and shoulders. He looks like… "Suho," Jongin says, and Joonmyun's grin falls. "You look like Suho."

"You know who Suho is?" Joonmyun asks. His voice is tight. He is not touching Jongin. That scares Jongin, because there's a weird look in Joonmyun's eyes.

"Yeah," Jongin says. He doesn't just know who Suho is. He has memorized Suho from his desk chair, and he has gotten off to Suho's voice, and he had imagined, even as late as a half a year ago, what it would be like to run into Suho and ask him on a date.
And so he should not be staring at Joonmyun with his goldfish face. "Yeah, I know Suho. I had a thing for him in high school." Downplay it. 'Don't, under any circumstances, mention the collection of sixty-four films on your harddrive or the creepy hidden stash of DVDs you made Minho buy you during high school. Just don't.'"You look like him."

Joonmyun laughs. Chokes. Sobs. "Jongin, I am him."



Okay, so Joonmyun is Suho. On the one hand, Jongin's not sure how much he likes that Joonmyun hadn't just been upfront with him in the first place. That hadn't been fair. But Joonmyun had also told him there were things about him that Jongin didn't know. Jongin had expected a smaller secret. Like maybe that Joonmyun was an international spy, or something. Not something huge like this.

But looking at Joonmyun now, lips in a thin line, Jongin thinks maybe, just maybe, Joonmyun was kind of afraid he would be rejected. By Jongin. Who he likes. Jongin likes Joonmyun, too. Even if his job is sort of. Unconventional. Jongin really likes Joonmyun. "Hyung, I…"

The issue, as usual, is that Jongin has a million words he needs to say, and zero of them on hand for immediate use. He can see the expression on Joonmyun's face getting sadder as moments pass. Jongin searches for his voice. Glub glub. Nothing.

WELL!??! JONGIN SAY SOMETHING.

Chanyeol's always been an expert in annoying. "So how did you mess up?"

"Are we even friends?"

"You keep insisting we aren't but I'd like to think I'm special to you, Jongin." Chanyeol tugs back the covers. Jongin, still lying on his stomach, hugs his pillow to hide his face. "Did you get mad?"

"No," Jongin says. "Maybe for like, three seconds. But then I mostly wanted to enfold his tiny body in my arms and—"

"If this is about to get rated," Chanyeol says. "Save it for Sehun. It's his turn." Chanyeol laughs.


"Obviously, it's not my ideal career choice for a boyfriend but Suho was my dream man, even though I knew he was a porn star. Joonmyun-hyung, well, is my dream man, still. They're. They're the same person! Not many people get to fall in love with the same person twice. And it's just his job! I was his not-job. I was his not-boyfriend." Jongin is possessive but he would be willing to put up with so much more to wake up with Joonmyun in his arms.
Me:
WELL WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO JOONMYEON EARLIER. D<

Btw, I LOVE THOSE SMALL FONTED STAR NOTES. LMAO….

"Go and see him!" Baekhyun says. "That would be romantic."

'That would be stalking," Yifan says, but he's still looking at Baekhyun like he's charmed. Ew.
/GURGLING NOISES IN THROAT.


stop ignoring me hyung he types into an email. i miss u :-(

Fucking smileys.


Jongin turns around. And oh no. Oh yes? Oh something. Jongin can’t believe his eyes.

Joonmyun is there, with Zitao. Zitao looks up and meets his eyes with a wink. Jongin is not slow enough to miss that he's been set up by Lu Han, Yixing, and Zitao.

"What are you waiting for? Your friend is waving at you."


"Baekhyun said you've been having problems getting a hold of Joonmyun-hyung," Zitao mumbles into his ear. He mumbles everything, always, but it's even worse in a noisy club. "So I got a hold of him for you."

You are my favorite friend, Jongin tries to communicate with his eyes. Zitao seems to understand. Maybe.

"I should—" Joonmyun casts about for something else to do but there's nothing.

✫ ✫ There is no escape. Jongin would cackle, but he is not Chanyeol and he is not going to sink to Chanyeol's level.

Instead, he grabs Joonmyun's hand and drags him outside. He didn't think this all the way through. It is really fucking cold. His nipples could cut glass for a jewel heist.


"Now that you know that was me in the videos," Joonmyun says, "and that I used to fuck people on camera, you still want me?" He sounds amazed, which is ridiculous because Jongin's been nothing but hopelessly into Joonmyun since he first set eyes on him.
YEAH DUDE….Joonmyeon-ah, you didn't hear Jongin's heart talking:


"I love you, hyung."

"Oh," Joonmyun says, and now who's the goldfish? He's gaping at Jongin. Glub glub. "Well, that's okay, because I love you, too." He sighs. "I have. For a while."

"Really?" Jongin scowls. "Then why won't you just be my boyfriend? You are so confusing!"

"I was harboring a secret porn career?"

"That's your job," Jongin says. "I'm not your job."
Well said, Jongin. Well said.


"Boyfriend," Jongin says. Joonmyun's grin makes Jongin's gut jump pleasantly.

NOW SEE HERE, I'M A GUY AND I'M OLDER THAN JOONMYEON BY SEVERAL WEEKS, AND I AM NOT ASHAMED TO SAY THAT I FIND HIM HOT WITH THAT HEAD FLICK LIKE JEEZZZZ.

"Marks. Are marks okay now?" Jongin's not sure if his words are even intelligible, but Joonmyun's hands tighten on his arms.

"How long have you been wanting that?" Joonmyun says. Jongin loves his laugh. He loves everything about him. Boyfriend.. "It's okay."

AND I'M SURE JONGIN'S LIKE:


EXCUSE ME WHILE I SIT IN THE FRIDGE AND GET ALL COMFY.


“So do you guys make home movies?” Sehun asks, like he’s about to ask technical questions about where they position the cameras or something, and Jongin gently, oh so gently, grabs the back of Sehun’s panties and pulls them up his butt.

L M A O.

THE SUKAI FEELS B/C JOONMYEON…B/C JONGIN…

THANK YOU MATT BOMER aka one of the freaking gorgeous men mine eyes have laid upon.